The Journey Of A Moment

Part 1:

After 3 years, my entire family planned a vacation to Sikkim in India. We planned everything in advance and were very excited to travel as a group. We started our adventure with the road trip from Pune to Mumbai, from where we took our flight to Bagdogra in West Bengal. Immediately after landing, we were on another road journey for 3 hours from Bagdogra to Kalimpong - through the dense jungles, and by the magnificent Teesta river, not to forget the steep and acute winding roads all the way. It was a unique experience as we crossed the state border from West Bengal to Sikkim on the bridge over the Teesta.

Our adventure continued in Kalimpong, where many of my family members and I did paragliding for the first time.  Seeing my 70-year-old father dare to take his tandem flight and enjoy it, even though he was nervous, gave me the chills but was a sight totally worth it!

The next morning, we all drove to Gangtok. Everyone was super excited to visit the Nathula Pass – the most sought-after destination of the Indo-China border, located at over 15,000 feet over sea level, north of Gangtok. Gangtok is at 6,000+ feet over sea level.

As the road trip from Gangtok to Nathula Pass normally takes 3 hours, on the day of our visit, we all were up and ready to board our taxis and leave by 8am as planned. Unfortunately, out of the two cars that were to take us, only 1 car arrived at the hotel, that too an hour late! Our driver, Mr. S, made many phone calls to inquire about the second car but it wasn’t to come. So, he himself scouted the local taxi stands and managed to hire a car, albeit a small one! Finally, after about 2 and a half hours of delay, we commenced our road trip towards Nathula Pass.

The road was beautiful and the weather was windy and foggy. Halfway to Nathula Pass, we stopped at a local restaurant-cum-shop and pre-ordered lunch for all of us. We were prepared to return back in an hour and enjoy the hot local delicacies there. The lady at the shop helped us rent some warmer jackets and said, “I’ll see you’ll in an hour for lunch!”.

The weather from there started to change as we gained altitude – strong winds, freezing temperatures and light showers. There was no way we could bring down the window glasses. By the time we reached Nathula Pass, it started to snow.

The frigid winds, the altitude factor and the dense fog hit everyone hard, as soon as we deboarded from our cars! The three small girls, though thrilled to play with the snow, were visibly shivering. The spot was densely crowded.

To view the Indo-China border and the actual Pass, one has to walk another 45 mins over a zig-zag series of make-shift steps along of the slop of a steel hill-side. We dared to walk to the first level where there was an enclosed shelter, hoping to rest and sip some hot tea and coffee. However, that walk wasn’t pleasant and the weather turned worse during this time – rainfall, heavy snowing and gustier winds. With this, the crowd and the additional distance to reach the top, we decided to turn back and go towards our cars.

My brother, husband and father-in-law went in the smaller car with Mr. D and the rest of us in the larger car with Mr. S. The entire landscape turned white in a matter of 30 mins – the roads had a thick lay of snow and sleet. Seeing the snowfall heavier going downhill was a bit worrying but we all tried to be calm. My father was in the front seat and I was behind him on the left side of the car. We were facing a 15,000+ feet valley towards our left side – a few feet off the road.

I was trying to keep everyone engaged in some chit-chat, when all of a sudden, I felt our car swerve and hit the metal barricade real hard and ricochet back on the dirt area between the tar road and the edge of the valley. All of this in only a few seconds! Had that barricade given way, we would have rolled down into the valley, 15000 feet below. Just 200 meters ahead along the same stretch, there was no barricade!

That split second moment shook us all to our core even before we realized what had actually happened. The only words that Mr. S kept saying were “Gaadi slip ho ja rahan hain!” (The car is slipping away). It was then that we realized that he was had no experience in driving in the snow, was now absolutely scared and seemed like he couldn’t go any further.

I had no idea where the other car was and how we could communicate with them, as mobile network doesn’t operate there. My heart and mind were racing away and I could taste fear and panic like never before. What do we do now? We had to drive down to the base, more than 2 hours away – with a terrified group of passengers and a driver who had lost his confidence in driving the car in these conditions.

In this moment, my entire family, parents, my brother’s family and my children were all at a very huge risk of never making it back!

Dad and I kept talking with Mr. S, guiding him to stay on the mountain side. There was an eerie silence in the car and in that silence, I could clearly hear the terror and distress emanating from everyone in the car.

After about 40 minutes of the slowest drive of our lives, we noticed a small car parked ahead – in it my husband, father-in-law and brother, waiting for us. Seeing our car damaged from the front and come toward them sliding a little, they realized something was wrong. When my husband and brother stepped out and ran towards our car to check on things, we simply mentioned that our car was hit a little and the wheels did not have the required grip, and hence were coming slow. We were still too disturbed to explain the horrid experience.

My husband and I decided to swap cars, so that he could help my father. They started moving ahead gradually, while my brother, father-in-law and I followed them in the smaller car. Neither of them knew much about the actual incident. Now, I saw my brother’s and my entire family in that car, trudging ahead and sliding as its driver, Mr. S, tried his best to drive on.

Seeing them wobble along in front of us and cringing every time they stopped near a turn, was simply too much to bear, but we couldn’t even stop anywhere with the snow coming down harder.

We still had about 2 hours to reach Gangtok and we had to reach before dusk. I turned to my brother and told him, “Our entire family, parents, partners and children are in that car, we need to do something, something more than what we’re doing now! One wrong turn could leave us both alone forever!” He looked at me and in that same moment, he looked behind and saw what looked like an empty car coming our way. “There’s a car turning down now behind us,” was all he had to say before I yanked my car door open and jumped right in the middle of the road and started waving my hands crazily to stop that car. The other car stopped by the side.

A middle-aged gentleman stepped out and I explained that our car had an issue and requested for his help. He was an officer from the Indian Armed Forces. At first, thinking that I was talking of my small car with Mr. D, he advised us to drive slowly in these weather conditions. I then told him it wasn’t my car and pointed to the one in front of us, moving along slowly.

With folded hands, I begged, “Sir, my entire family with elders and children are in that car and the driver is unable to go further and has no experience in these weather conditions. Please help them!” Seeing the anguish and fear in my face and voice, he offered to take them till the base location. “Thank you, thank you very much! Sir, could you please reach their car before that next turn ahead.”, was all I could mutter aloud.

I saw the Army car stop ahead in front of my family’s car and this officer stepping out and aiding in my family to get in his car.

My brother and I ran ahead towards their car and along with my husband also shifted everyone in the officer’s car. We all then left for the base in the Army car. My husband, brother and I followed the Army car in our small car with Mr. D. and that was the first time I could feel my breath. We couldn’t leave Mr. S alone either and requested him to come along slowly with us. He didn’t want to leave his car behind, so Mr. D gave him some advice about driving in these conditions and sending help. We started our descent again slowly in both the cars. It is then that I narrated the actual incident to my husband, brother and brother-in-law, and to Mr. D. They were speechless and contemplative for a long time!

On our way down, our small car stopped at the restaurant-cum-shop to return the jackets and pay for the food we had pre-ordered. When the lady saw me, she asked about the food. After hearing about the incident, she refused to let us go without some hot tea. We paid her for the food that we had ordered earlier (she refused to take the money at all) but we told her to take it as a sign of our gratitude for her help. She insisted that we take some food packed for the way down but we graciously refused and took her leave to reach the others at the base location. Before leaving, she gave me a tight hug, looked straight at me and said, “Sab theek ho jayega, aap bahaut ache ho”.” (All will be well; you are a nice person). It took all the resolve in me and more to avoid bursting out in tears in that moment.

An hour and a half later, our small car reached the base location where the rest of our family was waiting for us. I noticed that the gentleman and his car was still there too. We stepped out of our small car. All of us burst out in tears and profusely thanked him and his driver. After saying our numerous thank you and good-byes to the gentleman, we all stayed there for a bit, breathing, hugging each other, calming down and soaking it all in.

My parents sitting at a corner table of a small food stall in a remote place in Sikkim, simply couldn’t hold back their tears. The only thing I said to them was, “Dad, you’ve always told me about your respect for the Armed Forces and teachers, and how you’ve always helped them whenever you could throughout your life as a doctor and as a human being. Mom, you have always been selfless, kind and generous towards your family, your friends, your staff – you’ve given your purest to every relationship. Today, the circle is complete Dad and Mom! You should be proud of all your good deeds – it is your Karma and those good deeds that manifested as the barricade that saved us from the drop of death! We know we are truly grateful and blessed for you both and the impact of your lives on us and everyone around you!” I meant every single word that I had said!

I have always believed in the ripple effect of kindness, compassion and gratitude and have chosen to act and do simply that in my life as well.

Be good and do good – make that your Karma - it will always come back to you, when you least expect it!

 

Part 2:

 

That single moment by the road side, with the 800 ft valley below and the journey leading up to that moment and afterwards has given me so many learnings.

1. Kindness and Compassion: The kindness that so many strangers showed us that day, the Officer from the Armed Forces, the lady at the restaurant-cum-shop, the parking folks who eventually helped drive Mr. S. We did not know either of them until that day, yet they will always be a part of my heart forever, bound together in kindness and compassion in our journey of that moment.            

2. Problem Solving: Problems don’t inform us before arriving and this incident only shows how important it is to be prepared. After reaching our hotel, we decided to cancel the plans for the next two days and stay put in Gangtok itself. We needed some time to simply stay put and recover from the mental and emotional stress. The first problem we needed to cater to was booking hotel rooms for 10 of us for the next 2 nights in a tourist-packed place. The next one was to change our travel plans accordingly. The third one was to change the daily itinerary and give the family a nice stress-free two days within the city. One step at a time, one problem at a time was what we had to focus on. We eventually had a pleasant stay visiting local monasteries, flower gardens, market places, etc. All of this helped us all to take our minds off the earlier incident.

3. Decision making: For me even today, the biggest decision was to jump out and stop the car that eventually led my family to safety. The decision to also change plans on the go helped everyone try and let go of the mental stress and be calmer. No matter how good our plans may be, we need to simply trust our instincts and be able to make some decisions, especially in tough situations.

4. Think and Act on Ideas: When we’re up against a threatening situation or a smaller problem, it takes all of our nerves, energy and mindfulness to be able to think quick. We must have the conviction to act upon that thought to make it a reality. We must think creatively and differently at times and then act on that to try and get out of that situation.

5. Time Management: The biggest reason for us to go through that near death traumatic experience was time management. My family was ready at 8 am sharp to leave for that day and we eventually left after 2 and a half hours due to the lack of time management by another person. If we had left as per our scheduled time, we would have reached our hotel by afternoon and far away from the place, before the snowfall had even started. Managing time for yourself and others is critical. Taking either for granted can seem fatal, as I had witnessed.

6. Accountability: The first thing that my travel agent in Pune as well as her colleague in Kolkata did was to blame the weather and its unpredictability for the incident. They still refuse to this day to take accountability for the human error on their part – the driver arriving late, one car not arriving at all, providing a car with bad tyres, without any grip, sending an inexperienced driver who has never driven in snow in his life to a place where it snows every other day (although Mr. S was a good driver, he was terrified once our car hit the barricade and simply couldn’t continue driving ahead).

All of these aspects could have been avoided, had they taken up the responsibility that was theirs in the first place. I do hope they realize the full impact of their lapses and the fatality of those consequences as well, even if they never admit it openly - for the sake of someone else.

7. Empathy: The main reason for us to not leave Mr. S behind, alone on that snowy windy road. He must have been as terrified if not more, for himself – just as we were for ourselves and our families. The small gesture by the gentleman to offer hot tea to my family while they were waiting for us or the warm hug that the lady gave me while leaving her food stall – showed us that they understood what we may have been going through, mentally, emotionally and physically.

8. Gratitude: My husband and I have always believed in being grateful, for small things and big and we’ve tried to inculcate the same in our girls as well when we share our gratitude every night before bed time.

The gratitude that I feel today and I know I will always carry with me has only grown stronger – for life, for my family, for every single person that I met throughout my travel in Sikkim, etc.

9. Have Faith: The one thing that kept me going throughout was faith that we would be ok. Even before I saw the officer and his car, I knew that we had to keep going. I had the faith that we could and would find someone, some car, anyone at all - who could help us in any way possible. We simply had to hope and until then inch our way slowly down. I had to hope that we are going to be okay, we would be able to make it down safely, we simply had to keep the faith!

I know now that it was that faith that spurred us into every small and big action that day; whether it was getting our hotel reservations extended at the last minute or changing our travel schedules overnight, etc.; it was the faith that we would reach home and we did!

It’s always about the journey, and not necessarily the destination.

Every journey teaches us something new, it takes away a few things and enhances a great deal more in our lives. We must be mindful and grateful to understand and learn from it all – the good and the not so good.

 

As Matsuo Basho said, “Every day is a journey and the journey itself is home!”

 

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