The Journey Of A Moment
Part 1:
After 3 years, my entire family planned a vacation to Sikkim in India.
We planned everything in advance and were very excited to travel as a group. We
started our adventure with the road trip from Pune to Mumbai, from where we
took our flight to Bagdogra in West Bengal. Immediately after landing, we were
on another road journey for 3 hours from Bagdogra to Kalimpong - through the dense
jungles, and by the magnificent Teesta river, not to forget the steep and acute
winding roads all the way. It was a unique experience as we crossed the state border
from West Bengal to Sikkim on the bridge over the Teesta.
Our adventure continued in Kalimpong, where many of my family members
and I did paragliding for the first time. Seeing my 70-year-old father dare to take his
tandem flight and enjoy it, even though he was nervous, gave me the chills but
was a sight totally worth it!
The next morning, we all drove to Gangtok. Everyone was super excited to
visit the Nathula Pass – the most sought-after destination of the Indo-China
border, located at over 15,000 feet over sea level, north of Gangtok. Gangtok is
at 6,000+ feet over sea level.
As the road trip from Gangtok to Nathula Pass normally takes 3 hours, on
the day of our visit, we all were up and ready to board our taxis and leave by
8am as planned. Unfortunately, out of the two cars that were to take us, only 1
car arrived at the hotel, that too an hour late! Our driver, Mr. S, made many
phone calls to inquire about the second car but it wasn’t to come. So, he
himself scouted the local taxi stands and managed to hire a car, albeit a small
one! Finally, after about 2 and a half hours of delay, we commenced our road
trip towards Nathula Pass.
The road was beautiful and the weather was windy and foggy. Halfway to
Nathula Pass, we stopped at a local restaurant-cum-shop and pre-ordered lunch
for all of us. We were prepared to return back in an hour and enjoy the hot
local delicacies there. The lady at the shop helped us rent some warmer jackets
and said, “I’ll see you’ll in an hour for lunch!”.
The weather from there started to change as we gained altitude – strong
winds, freezing temperatures and light showers. There was no way we could bring
down the window glasses. By the time we reached Nathula Pass, it started to
snow.
The frigid winds, the altitude factor and the dense fog hit everyone
hard, as soon as we deboarded from our cars! The three small girls, though thrilled
to play with the snow, were visibly shivering. The spot was densely crowded.
To view the Indo-China border and the actual Pass, one has to walk
another 45 mins over a zig-zag series of make-shift steps along of the slop of
a steel hill-side. We dared to walk to the first level where there was an
enclosed shelter, hoping to rest and sip some hot tea and coffee. However, that
walk wasn’t pleasant and the weather turned worse during this time – rainfall,
heavy snowing and gustier winds. With this, the crowd and the additional
distance to reach the top, we decided to turn back and go towards our cars.
My brother, husband and father-in-law went in the smaller car with Mr. D
and the rest of us in the larger car with Mr. S. The entire landscape turned
white in a matter of 30 mins – the roads had a thick lay of snow and sleet. Seeing
the snowfall heavier going downhill was a bit worrying but we all tried to be
calm. My father was in the front seat and I was behind him on the left side of
the car. We were facing a 15,000+ feet valley towards our left side – a few
feet off the road.
I was trying to keep everyone engaged in some chit-chat, when all of a sudden,
I felt our car swerve and hit the metal barricade real hard and ricochet back
on the dirt area between the tar road and the edge of the valley. All of this
in only a few seconds! Had that barricade given way, we would have rolled down
into the valley, 15000 feet below. Just 200 meters ahead along the same
stretch, there was no barricade!
That split second moment shook us all to our core even before we
realized what had actually happened. The only words that Mr. S kept saying were
“Gaadi slip ho ja rahan hain!” (The car is slipping away). It was then that we
realized that he was had no experience in driving in the snow, was now
absolutely scared and seemed like he couldn’t go any further.
I had no idea where the other car was and how we could communicate with
them, as mobile network doesn’t operate there. My heart and mind were racing away
and I could taste fear and panic like never before. What do we do now? We had
to drive down to the base, more than 2 hours away – with a terrified group of
passengers and a driver who had lost his confidence in driving the car in these
conditions.
In this moment, my entire family, parents, my brother’s family and my
children were all at a very huge risk of never making it back!
Dad and I kept talking with Mr. S, guiding him to stay on the mountain
side. There was an eerie silence in the car and in that silence, I could clearly
hear the terror and distress emanating from everyone in the car.
After about 40 minutes of the slowest drive of our lives, we noticed a
small car parked ahead – in it my husband, father-in-law and brother, waiting
for us. Seeing our car damaged from the front and come toward them sliding a little,
they realized something was wrong. When my husband and brother stepped out and
ran towards our car to check on things, we simply mentioned that our car was
hit a little and the wheels did not have the required grip, and hence were coming
slow. We were still too disturbed to explain the horrid experience.
My husband and I decided to swap cars, so that he could help my father.
They started moving ahead gradually, while my brother, father-in-law and I followed
them in the smaller car. Neither of them knew much about the actual incident.
Now, I saw my brother’s and my entire family in that car, trudging ahead and
sliding as its driver, Mr. S, tried his best to drive on.
Seeing them wobble along in front of us and cringing every time they
stopped near a turn, was simply too much to bear, but we couldn’t even stop
anywhere with the snow coming down harder.
We still had about 2 hours to reach Gangtok and we had to reach before
dusk. I turned to my brother and told him, “Our entire family, parents, partners
and children are in that car, we need to do something, something more than what
we’re doing now! One wrong turn could leave us both alone forever!” He looked
at me and in that same moment, he looked behind and saw what looked like an
empty car coming our way. “There’s a car turning down now behind us,” was all
he had to say before I yanked my car door open and jumped right in the middle
of the road and started waving my hands crazily to stop that car. The other car
stopped by the side.
A middle-aged gentleman stepped out and I explained that our car had an
issue and requested for his help. He was an officer from the Indian Armed
Forces. At first, thinking that I was talking of my small car with Mr. D, he
advised us to drive slowly in these weather conditions. I then told him it
wasn’t my car and pointed to the one in front of us, moving along slowly.
With folded hands, I begged, “Sir, my entire family with elders and
children are in that car and the driver is unable to go further and has no
experience in these weather conditions. Please help them!” Seeing the anguish
and fear in my face and voice, he offered to take them till the base location.
“Thank you, thank you very much! Sir, could you please reach their car before
that next turn ahead.”, was all I could mutter aloud.
I saw the Army car stop ahead in front of my family’s car and this officer
stepping out and aiding in my family to get in his car.
My brother and I ran ahead towards their car and along with my husband also
shifted everyone in the officer’s car. We all then left for the base in the
Army car. My husband, brother and I followed the Army car in our small car with
Mr. D. and that was the first time I could feel my breath. We couldn’t leave
Mr. S alone either and requested him to come along slowly with us. He didn’t
want to leave his car behind, so Mr. D gave him some advice about driving in
these conditions and sending help. We started our descent again slowly in both
the cars. It is then that I narrated the actual incident to my husband, brother
and brother-in-law, and to Mr. D. They were speechless and contemplative for a
long time!
On our way down, our small car stopped at the restaurant-cum-shop to
return the jackets and pay for the food we had pre-ordered. When the lady saw
me, she asked about the food. After hearing about the incident, she refused to
let us go without some hot tea. We paid her for the food that we had ordered
earlier (she refused to take the money at all) but we told her to take it as a
sign of our gratitude for her help. She insisted that we take some food packed
for the way down but we graciously refused and took her leave to reach the
others at the base location. Before leaving, she gave me a tight hug, looked straight
at me and said, “Sab theek ho jayega, aap bahaut ache ho”.” (All will be well;
you are a nice person). It took all the resolve in me and more to avoid
bursting out in tears in that moment.
An hour and a half later, our small car reached the base location where the
rest of our family was waiting for us. I noticed that the gentleman and his car
was still there too. We stepped out of our small car. All of us burst out in
tears and profusely thanked him and his driver. After saying our numerous thank
you and good-byes to the gentleman, we all stayed there for a bit, breathing, hugging
each other, calming down and soaking it all in.
My parents sitting at a corner table of a small food stall in a remote
place in Sikkim, simply couldn’t hold back their tears. The only thing I said
to them was, “Dad, you’ve always told me about your respect for the Armed
Forces and teachers, and how you’ve always helped them whenever you could
throughout your life as a doctor and as a human being. Mom, you have always
been selfless, kind and generous towards your family, your friends, your staff
– you’ve given your purest to every relationship. Today, the circle is complete
Dad and Mom! You should be proud of all your good deeds – it is your Karma and
those good deeds that manifested as the barricade that saved us from the drop
of death! We know we are truly grateful and blessed for you both and the impact
of your lives on us and everyone around you!” I meant every single word that I
had said!
I have always believed in the ripple effect of kindness, compassion and
gratitude and have chosen to act and do simply that in my life as well.
Be good and do good – make that your Karma - it will always come back to
you, when you least expect it!
Part 2:
That single moment by the road side, with the 800 ft valley below and the
journey leading up to that moment and afterwards has given me so many
learnings.
1. Kindness and Compassion: The kindness that so many strangers showed us that
day, the Officer from the Armed Forces, the lady at the restaurant-cum-shop,
the parking folks who eventually helped drive Mr. S. We did not know either of
them until that day, yet they will always be a part of my heart forever, bound
together in kindness and compassion in our journey of that moment.
2. Problem Solving: Problems
don’t inform us before arriving and this incident only shows how important it
is to be prepared. After reaching our hotel, we decided to cancel the plans for
the next two days and stay put in Gangtok itself. We needed some time to simply
stay put and recover from the mental and emotional stress. The first problem we
needed to cater to was booking hotel rooms for 10 of us for the next 2 nights
in a tourist-packed place. The next one was to change our travel plans
accordingly. The third one was to change the daily itinerary and give the
family a nice stress-free two days within the city. One step at a time, one
problem at a time was what we had to focus on. We eventually had a pleasant
stay visiting local monasteries, flower gardens, market places, etc. All of
this helped us all to take our minds off the earlier incident.
3. Decision making: For me even
today, the biggest decision was to jump out and stop the car that eventually
led my family to safety. The decision to also change plans on the go helped
everyone try and let go of the mental stress and be calmer. No matter how good
our plans may be, we need to simply trust our instincts and be able to make
some decisions, especially in tough situations.
4. Think and Act on Ideas: When
we’re up against a threatening situation or a smaller problem, it takes all of
our nerves, energy and mindfulness to be able to think quick. We must have the conviction
to act upon that thought to make it a reality. We must think creatively and
differently at times and then act on that to try and get out of that situation.
5. Time Management: The biggest
reason for us to go through that near death traumatic experience was time
management. My family was ready at 8 am sharp to leave for that day and we
eventually left after 2 and a half hours due to the lack of time management by
another person. If we had left as per our scheduled time, we would have reached
our hotel by afternoon and far away from the place, before the snowfall had
even started. Managing time for yourself and others is critical. Taking either
for granted can seem fatal, as I had witnessed.
6. Accountability: The first
thing that my travel agent in Pune as well as her colleague in Kolkata did was
to blame the weather and its unpredictability for the incident. They still
refuse to this day to take accountability for the human error on their part –
the driver arriving late, one car not arriving at all, providing a car with bad
tyres, without any grip, sending an inexperienced driver who has never driven
in snow in his life to a place where it snows every other day (although Mr. S
was a good driver, he was terrified once our car hit the barricade and simply
couldn’t continue driving ahead).
All of these aspects could have been avoided, had they taken up the
responsibility that was theirs in the first place. I do hope they realize the
full impact of their lapses and the fatality of those consequences as well,
even if they never admit it openly - for the sake of someone else.
7. Empathy: The main
reason for us to not leave Mr. S behind, alone on that snowy windy road. He
must have been as terrified if not more, for himself – just as we were for
ourselves and our families. The small gesture by the gentleman to offer hot tea
to my family while they were waiting for us or the warm hug that the lady gave
me while leaving her food stall – showed us that they understood what we may
have been going through, mentally, emotionally and physically.
8. Gratitude: My husband
and I have always believed in being grateful, for small things and big and
we’ve tried to inculcate the same in our girls as well when we share our
gratitude every night before bed time.
The gratitude that I feel today and I know I will always carry with me
has only grown stronger – for life, for my family, for every single person that
I met throughout my travel in Sikkim, etc.
9. Have Faith: The one
thing that kept me going throughout was faith that we would be ok. Even before
I saw the officer and his car, I knew that we had to keep going. I had the faith
that we could and would find someone, some car, anyone at all - who could help
us in any way possible. We simply had to hope and until then inch our way
slowly down. I had to hope that we are going to be okay, we would be able to
make it down safely, we simply had to keep the faith!
I know now that it was that faith that spurred us into every small and
big action that day; whether it was getting our hotel reservations extended at
the last minute or changing our travel schedules overnight, etc.; it was the faith
that we would reach home and we did!
It’s always about the journey, and not necessarily the destination.
Every journey teaches us something new, it takes away a few things and
enhances a great deal more in our lives. We must be mindful and grateful to
understand and learn from it all – the good and the not so good.
As Matsuo Basho said, “Every day is a journey and the journey
itself is home!”
#faith #gratitude #kindness #rippleeffect #lifelearnings #karma #journey
#values
