To all those who suffer, visibly or silently, you are not alone!
Pain, be it physical, mental, or emotional is distressing and
incomparable to someone else’s story, only because we all are different. It
could be an injury, heartbreak, family trauma, financial issues, social
relationships, etc. – and it always hits us hard and shakes the ground under
our feet when we first experience it.
Some say that physical pain might, at times, be easier than emotional and
mental pain associated with it; and that emotional and mental pain stays with
us longer and is more difficult to deal with. Some say that a physical injury
will eventually heal over time and we will learn to adjust to the changes in
our body, but how will we get over the invisible wounds etched in our hearts
and minds.
Simple – in time, this too shall heal, but only if we want it to!
Our threshold of pain and the strength to plough through that pain is
unique for each one of us.
Around 12 years ago, I was at my personal lowest in life – mentally and
emotionally distraught and disheartened. A broken connection, a relationship at
stake, a new country, no job or financial security, no family or friends, and no
one that I could reach out to, at that point in time. Everything about life that
I had known till then was shattered to bits and I was thousands of miles away
from the place that was home. My little baby girl and I were at a crossroads in
life, with no hope in sight.
At that time, I didn’t know how to go on and more importantly, in which
direction to move forward. Everything was stagnant and yet life was passing by,
day after day.
I only knew one thing then - I had to get through this and that I would!
12 years later, I can happily say that my family is together and growing
stronger every day.
My experience with pain recently was a whole different experience
altogether – one that required an entirely new mindset and an enormous amount
of physical strength to overcome it.
A few months ago, I woke up with a stinging pain in my left shoulder, and one day, it was so severe that I couldn’t move my left hand at all. I am a left-handed person, so the thought of any immobility in my working hand was a huge trigger for fear of how I would be able to continue and live life the same way again. Panic and anxiety set in very quickly, and the continuous physical pain caused a lot of emotional stress in the coming days.
A cervical scan showed misalignment in the neck discs. On the first day
of physiotherapy treatment, the team realized that my left shoulder bone had
shifted and moved away from the muscles and that was the reason for the
excruciating pain in the shoulder.
I experienced this pain on a weekend and there wasn’t any treatment
possible on those days. Without realizing it, the physical pain had transcended
to mental anxiety and emotional distress within a few hours.
The next 1-2 months were like a whirlwind of physiotherapy, exercises, tears, and a lot of heaves and sighs.
The reason for this post is to try and highlight these very different facets
of pain – one at a physical level which creates mental and emotional upheavals,
and the other deeply rooted at an emotional level. I simply want to say, that
no matter what, it is absolutely possible to work through and rise above the pain
at all levels - if we want to, we can.
It may take you a lot more time through your challenges as compared to
someone else. However, if you put your mind to it, focus on small goals, be
aware of your mental and emotional being during the painful experience, and
take it one day and one step at a time, you will definitely make it through.
Reflecting back, I know that despite all the pain, mental hurdles, and
emotional distress, there are a few specific things that helped me overcome these
different journeys of pain.
1. Know your goals, small and big: I only had one goal – to get my dominant working hand and shoulder back
in shape. That was my only big goal. No matter how difficult or impossible it
seemed for the first week, I kept going. I made smaller goals on a daily basis
for myself, of what I wanted to achieve on that day, during that session. I
exercised my hand and shoulder in any free time I had in the day. I worked
those muscles, slowly but surely, towards my goal. 12 years ago, my only big
goal was to start rebuilding my life, for my baby girl and myself.
2. Small is big: I took it
one step, one lift, one session, and one day at a time. I looked out for small
victories which eventually grew bigger each day. I2 years ago, I simply worked
on having happy moments with my baby girl each day.
3. Know your limits: I was
already pushing myself more than I was expected to by the physiotherapist, but at
the same time, I was always aware of how much to extend my limits, without
causing any further injury.
4. Think positive, affirm it, and act it: The physical pain along with the mental and emotional stress was a huge
challenge, that stood in front of me every single day. I had to believe in
myself, push aside those negative thoughts that could put me down and maintain
a positive attitude throughout this journey. I had to tell myself that I could
and I would overcome this challenge, and in time, this too would pass. I
thought and spoke positive affirmations to myself – simple yet realistic
statements, that meant something meaningful to me.
More importantly, I had to act on those positive thoughts by
consistently and constructively exercising and doing what needed to be
done.
5. Be your own cheerleader:
For the first time ever, I was kind enough to applaud myself on every small
achievement. I believe that it was the biggest thing that motivated me and
pushed me to keep a positive attitude.
6. Dig deep: Sometimes,
pain is physical and at times it is within us, not to be seen – and it affects
us mentally or emotionally. If you dig deep, you will find your core strength,
in all that pain. Your character and positive action to rise above it all will
take you closer to a better future. Use that inner strength to move forward,
and no one and nothing would be able to stop you from achieving your goals and
dreams.
7. Embrace a newer you: Disability,
injury, pain, heartbreak, or any tragedy do not define who you are; it is your
ability to work through that pain or a particular situation that does! Walk
with determination, courage, grit, and perseverance, along with kindness and
love to take you through that challenge and pain, all the way to the finish
line. At the end of it, accept and embrace, a newer you – someone who has
learned so much on this journey of pain and healing.
8. Therapy: Self-therapy
for mental and emotional healing is as important as physiotherapy and proper
treatment is for overcoming physical pain.
Therapy can be as simple as going for a walk, listening to music, writing
down your thoughts, or doing something that you like to do during an emotional turmoil.
Talking to someone you trust about what you’re going through always helps. You
may not find a solution but having a sounding board may help simplify and calm
your own thoughts and feelings.
9. Humility and Gratitude: Being
humble and not taking anything (our bodies and our lives) or anyone (our people
and our support all around) for granted is very imperative to our overall
wellbeing. Seeing the medical team’s expressions and even brighter smiles,
every time I said thank you, especially when they never expected it, was a
hugely humbling feeling for me.
I truly believe in the power of saying “Thank you”. No matter how my day
has been, being grateful for something and someone and hearing those 2 words
always helps change my mood and brightens everything around a little more.
During my hospital visits and treatment sessions, seeing the smiles and
hearing the encouraging words of the medical team helped make the difficult
sessions a little lighter. I do believe that a simple thank you can change
someone else’s day as much as your own!
My shoulder and hand are healing well and the bone is now nearly 80%
through the healing process. My heart and mind are always healing, getting
better, and growing with love, positivity and gratitude.
Every individual’s journey of pain and their fight back through that
pain is special to them as well as for their loved ones. It is imperative that
we accept our reality, move forward and have faith that this too shall pass.
As Rumi said, “Don’t get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain
will become your cure.”
Our visible and invisible scars will always remain – how we choose to
look at them and the stories behind those scars will be our triumph in life.
No matter what it may be, keep on going. Change your pain into
your power!
--
Haiku – The Journey of Pain
No one asks for pain
It sure can be life changing
All may seem hopeless
Be it physical
Mental or emotional
Keep moving forward
Dig deep inside you
Find your strength and fire to fight
Make pain your power!
#pain #injury #courage #perseverance #kindness #love #keepgoing #life
#goals
Do visit my blog, "Being" at https://mindfullyheartful.blogspot.com/
for my other posts.
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